I remember the days when you used to obsess over guys, and drool as a hot one walked by you or smiled at you. I remember when you made sexual remarks about the ones you found you really liked. I remember those days like it was yesterday.
Now, just a couple of years on, it’s not guys. It’s girls. You came out so bravely about who you truly are. You are comfortable in your own skin, as a lesbian.
Being truthful, it saddens me that we aren’t friends anymore. We were once so close and I could tell you anything. It was always you I’d go to. You were my best friend. We had our fallouts and arguments, but in the end we’d always be friends.
You left school so suddenly, without warning, and sadly began to cut off anything that had bad memories of your past. So, I got cut off. But, I understand why. Lets be honest, to move on you have to make difficult decisions.
If you do read this, and realise its about you, please don’t think it’s malicious or slagging you off. It is my ode to you; my former best friend. The one friend that no matter what, I’ll never stop caring about.
I’m proud to say I was once your friend. You were like a sister to me and I wish I had done more to keep it that way.
Maybe one day, we’ll be able to speak again.
But for now I can only say ‘I miss you’.
I wish you luck in life and for you to be happy.
I think the weirdest thing is that the person you’re going to marry and spend the rest of your life together with is currently walking the earth, living their own life, going to school or going to work or whatever, doing all these things and making all these memories that you’ll get to hear about from them years from now.
(Source: departured, via degeneratebeautyqueenx)
One thing you do not do is piss me off.
Slag me off, sure! But slag off my family, boyfriend and friends, and make no mistake, I will kick the absolute fuck out of you!
To be honest, I am sick of people thinking that they can slag me off and bitch about me and those involved with me and get away with it.
I am putting my foot down! I am sick and tired of it!
I don’t see what gives anyone the right to be cruel to others. How dare he say what he said to me! He actually said it to my face, which I’m surprised that he did! He doesn’t usually have the balls to!
I am pissed off. This isn’t me angry. I haven’t reached that stage yet. I bet before long I’m gonna explode with hate.
I look back on the past year of my life, and I realize it’s something I couldn’t do again.
Apart from the good parts, that year… I was just a mess.
I was manipulated. I was cheated on. I was abused, both physically and mentally. I wanted to die because of one person.
I felt so worthless, and you know, I still feel like that at times. I feel like everything I have now, I don’t deserve. I must have done something right though.
But the thing is…
I can’t speak to a lot of my friends about what’s happened to me anymore. They just get tired of hearing the same thing. But how do they expect me to cope if I can’t get what’s bothering off my chest.
Throughout my life, it was more or less expected of me to be the strong one. I had to push aside my own feelings for others. I want to listen what they had to say because I know just listening can mean so much to someone.
So why is it, that when I try to do the same, they just blank me? Why don’t they care? Why did I bother? Did they just decide that when they were done talking I was no longer of use?
Was I the fuel in their selfish fire?
I know people are over what happened to me. But how can they expect me, the person it happened to, to just forget? To put it out of my head when I can’t?
I need help. I need people I can trust, and they don’t come in sevenfold.
I don’t mean to sound depressing, but this is me.
It seems like everything’s changed. I can’t stand how things are anymore. A lot of my friends have changed, and some have just disappeared. I can’t trust those who I once thought were my closest friends. I feel like I’m good for nothing and nobody stops to ask why this is.
I feel like I’m taken for granted. I’ve had to deal with so much shit in my life in the past few months.
What I would give to hold that little girl in my arms…
That chance was taken away from me.
I feel so alone, and I don’t know what to do or who to talk to…
I’ve never been perfect. I never have, and I never will be.
On Facebook, I see people everywhere put up attention-seeking statuses to get people to feel sorry for them. These people make me sick. They really do.
When I need help, I’m too scared to even utter one syllable to someone because I don’t want to waste their time.
But even I know when that there’s only so much a person can take before entering a breakdown.
So this is me.
I’m asking for help.